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22 Unnecessary Attachments Carefree People Don’t Have, by Elite Daily

22/5/2014

3 Comments

 
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Life is about attachments. It’s about picking up things along the way until we have a bag full of relics and lessons from the past. Our load gets heavier with each passing year until we no longer remember what it’s like to walk without a heavy burden.

We attach ourselves to so many things that soon we find that our natural right to freedom is nothing more than an illusion. We attach ourselves to people, opinions and superficial objects, like money and time.

We glue ourselves to abstract notions and think that life is in the things around us, next to us and instead of us. We put our worth in intangible notions and unreliable people and wonder why we can’t find real happiness.

Something the Tibetan monks will teach you is that happiness comes with scarcity. With fewer attachments comes a larger sense of internal peace as you get closer to yourself, shedding the unnecessary layers.

As you try to navigate your life, remember that the heavy burdens you carry can be let go. You will be not only happier, but liberated, when you learn to let go of everything around you.

The Approval Of Others
People are going to have opinions of you as long as they have breath in their lungs. Do yourself a favor and stop letting them waste any of yours.

Social Media
Social media platforms comprise the root of all heartache. If you don’t want to see what your ex is posting or those horrible pictures of you when you got too drunk, just get off social media. Trust me, you can learn to live without them and you will find that life is a lot simpler on the other side.

Time
Counting the minutes is the first step to refusing to live in the moment and the second step towards wrapping your happiness in moments yet to come. You are better than that, live by the ticking of your desires, not your clock.

Your Exes
In the words of Macbeth, “What’s done is done.” There is no need to hold on to your exes anymore than holding on to a dirty sponge. Throw it away before it creates a bigger mess and leaves you wondering why you didn’t just get a new one to begin with.

Fads
Fads are like Kim Kardashian. You think it’s beautiful, then you start to see it everywhere and suddenly all you want to do is get rid of it.

Indecision
Being indecisive will get you nowhere in life. It will keep you shackled to the pavement as you refuse to take the next step. Do yourself a favor and start making choices, because consequences and regrets are better than nothing at all.

The Past
It’s called the past for a reason and that’s where it should stay. Bringing your past into the future is only denying yourself the present.

Bad Television
I know it’s a guilty pleasure, but it’s also sucking the life from you. Five hours spent watching girls rip out each other’s extensions and scream about stolen catchphrases are five hours you can never get back.

Regrets
There is nothing you can do now, so wasting your time and energy lamenting over everything you’ve done wrong in life will only give you more regrets.

Nostalgia
We all wish we could go back to the carefree days of our youth, but unless you invent time travel, you’re stuck under the stressful burden of being an adult. Dreaming of the good days behind you is as fruitless as daydreaming of better days in front of you.

Parents’ Money
It doesn’t matter if you have a trust fund of $5 million, if you don’t learn to make your own money, you’re just an ignorant bum with $5 million dollars. The joys of life come from earning for yourself.

Mass Approval
It’s one thing to ignore one person’s opinion of you, but society’s is another thing entirely. The crowd is like a black hole that will try and suck you in. Those who resist are those who stay alive.

Bad People
You know who they are, even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself. They are the ones who always leave you with a bad taste in your mouth. They are usually very nice to your face, but you should move on before your back gets covered in spit.

Self-Doubt
If you don’t have confidence in yourself, what can you have confidence in? There’s no room for self-doubt in a world that’s going to judge your every decision. Lighten your load and start trusting yourself.

Guilt
Life is too short for the bitter taste of guilt. It’s a pill you don’t have to swallow and the sooner you stop taking it the better you’ll feel.

Comparisons
Comparing yourself to models will break your heart. Comparing yourself to anyone will keep you from knowing your own. You are the only standard you must compare yourself against.

Filters
You look good under the “Mayfair” filter that same way I look good under candlelight. But life isn’t filled with candles and “X-Pro II” filters, so stop living the lie and learn to accept yourself with “no filter.”

The Ideal
The ideal is a dream and dreams are for sleeping. Stop wasting your life and your hopes on nothing more than a mere illusion. Prepare for the un-ideal and your life will be filled with surprises.

What Ifs
What ifs are like the chicken pox. They are easy to catch and impossible not to scratch (rhyme not intended). You must resist the urge to avoid long-term scarring.

Closed Doors
If it’s closed behind you, there’s no need to look back. If it’s closed in front of you then you must spend your time trying to open it.

Toxic Friendships
Friends, like your past, must be shed when there’s no more room in your future for them. Evaluate those relationships closest to you and decide which bring you the most growth and true happiness.

Prejudices
Whether you were raised with them or grew around them, take a serious look at what you’re judging and decide if it’s worth the stigma.

Source: http://elitedaily.com/life/25-unnecessary-attachments-carefree-people-dont-have/595924/



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The Healing of Jealousy

2/5/2014

1 Comment

 
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THE HEALING OF JEALOUSY
Here's something that may be hard to hear: Jealousy is never about the other person, it's always about YOU - YOUR feelings of being ignored, unappreciated, unseen and unloved, and underneath all of that, your frustrated desire to control others - what they do, what they want, how they are received, who loves them - and ultimately, your desire to control the universe.

Ouch. This is strong medicine. Jealousy as the attempted insurrection of the separate self against its greatest threat, unconditional love.

Admit it: Someone else is getting all the attention, the love, the rewards, the success, the glory, and you are left out in the cold, isolated, forgotten, a failure - not special at all. Jealousy sees the other as some kind of 'rival', an 'enemy', a 'threat' to your path. It sees life as a giant competition and joy as a scarce commodity. And once you go down that path, there are a million rivals, a million blocks to joy...

Jealousy makes your peace dependent upon someone or something else! It says, "I can't be at peace as long as they are ..." (Fill in the blank). You give the other power over you, and then resent them for taking that power - which they never did! You gave it to them with your attention.

Jealousy can easily strike when you are feeling uncertain, insecure, doubtful about your own path. To avoid facing your own pain, being honest about your own insecurities, you bring focus away from yourself, onto the other, and begin comparing and contrasting and mentally fighting. You want what they seem to have. "Why isn't THAT happening to ME?" you ask. It's all about me. Me me me. Me me me me me me. The ego thrives on comparison and power struggles.

Where and when can healing begin? The only place and time there is. Here, Now.

Begin by turning towards your only place of power: the present moment. Acknowledge your experience, deeply. Feel the jealousy burning, aching, throbbing, in your neck, chest, stomach. Feel the power that's there, the volcanic power of life itself, the power that creates universes. Take away the word/label/concept 'jealousy' and feel directly the raw sensations without judgement and without trying to make them 'better'. Feel the aliveness. Contact your own uncertainty, doubt, feelings of powerlessness. Feel that old familiar friend - the urgent need to control the world from where you are.

Don't turn away! - when you turn away from your immediate embodied experience, separation, and therefore fear, begins. Slow down. Begin to light up the sore and forgotten places in yourself with awareness. Bring gentleness and kindness to that lost child in yourself, the one who was never seen, the one who always longed for love and understanding, who always felt 'far away' from life and fun. The one who would destroy a universe just to get attention. Feel the innocence there...

Perhaps, from a place of deep acceptance of yourself as you are, you will begin to find compassion for the one you previously called your 'rival'. Perhaps you will even be able to celebrate his or her happiness and achievements. You will become part of his or her abundance rather than the judge and jury of it. You may be able to learn from your ex-enemy, or at least use them as a source of inspiration. Or you may forget about them altogether, let go of trying to know their experience, and simply walk your path! You will see that there is enough room in this universe for everyone to walk their own path, find their own happiness, dance their own dance. Including you.

Joy does not come from trying to walk another's path, or from preventing another from walking their own path. It certainly does not come from trying to take away someone else's happiness! Jealousy, when resisted and blindly acted upon, will hurt you and the ones around you, and will create further conflict and division. But once acknowledged, understood, embraced, and even loved, jealousy can serve to open up your heart even more, bringing you to a place of great humility, freed from that awful need to control everything and everyone around you.

Let jealousy serve as yet another ingenious invitation to Presence. Let it break your heart wide open in the here and now. Let it teach you humility and slowness. Let it remind you never to neglect yourself again. Know that you are never a victim, except in your own perception.

Source: Jeff Foster 

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    Blog Author

    Mark Dunn lives in Bristol where he teaches Positive Meditation and Mindfulness skills to the wonderful people that live in that great city. 

    This blog contains ideas and techniques for leading a happier, more peaceful life. These ideas come from Mark and also through others who share their positivity.  

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