Positive Meditation: Happiness Skills for Life
  • Home
  • Coaching
  • Group Classes
  • How It Helps
  • Testimonials
  • About Mark
  • Blog
  • Contact

Fear and Need - Two sides of the same coin.....

22/9/2012

0 Comments

 
Picture
Have you ever been frustrated with your partner because of their fears? Do you ever wish your partner could be more open-minded and let go of their anxieties or stresses?

Before going on a journey to try to change your partner and to try to get rid of their fears it is worth stopping, taking a breath and noticing what 'needs' are arising in you: 

What 'freedom' are you needing? And is that need really allowing you to be free in this moment? Do you 'need' to change your partner? Do you 'need' them to get rid of their fears?  And what is your motivation behind all these needs?


The moment you enter into neediness you will feel a tightening in your body. You too have actually entered into fear. Because need and fear are two sides of the same coin..... 

Once you have observed that you have gone into neediness and tightening then it may well be worth looking into it what it is you are craving and, by doing so, accepting your role in the need/fear dynamic that is arising in your relationship.

The reason this process is valuable is because we so often get caught up in trying to change our partners without recognising that our need is as strong as their fears! The ego-based behaviour we can so easily recognise in others is sometimes harder to spot in ourselves. The key to spotting when we have become attached to an outcome (become needy) is to be aware of the sensations in our body. Whenver we attach to an outcome or argue with the current situation a tension arises somewhere in our body. This is our body saying to us. "Hey you've gone into need mode. And it hurts me...."

Freedom comes from recognising that your need not only hurts you but can also be partially responsible for the fears in your partner. When you let go of the need, your body will relax and you will feel lighter and more peaceful. In addition, your partner may recognise this in you and begin to let go of some of their fears. It is a virtuous circle in action....



0 Comments

Its your thoughts that make you suffer.....

20/9/2012

0 Comments

 
Picture
Its your thoughts that make you suffer more than anything else. its not usually the situation, its your interpretation of the situation, of how dreadful it all is (or is going to be). So when you see that, then you see that there is another way to live in which I no longer mentatlly argue with what is. And that is the end of self inflicted suffering. And if I no longer inflict suffering on myself, i no longer inflict suffering on others because the two go together.........

0 Comments

How do we know when we are making the right decision

19/9/2012

0 Comments

 
Picture
In this short clip Eckhart Tolle hits the proverbial nail in the head with regard to decision making. What guides us that we are making the right decision, one that is from a higher consciousness than pure ego? The feeling in the body. Is there negative unpleasant sensation in the body or is there a feeling of peace? This is the essence of Positive Meditation. 

0 Comments

I am not living up to my full potential (part 1)

13/9/2012

0 Comments

 
Here is Byron Katie, one of the masters of self-enquiry demonstrating 'the work' in action. Just take a few minutes to see how this simple process can change belief systems and create happier lives 

0 Comments

I am not living up to my full potential.... Is it true?

13/9/2012

0 Comments

 
I have come to find that all human suffering is borne of the thought, 'I am not good enough...'. In these two videos, self enquiry teacher Byron Katie shows us how to turn around those thoughts that tell us that we are not good enough, not successful enough and not living up to our full potential... (part 2)
0 Comments
<<Previous

    Blog Author

    Mark Dunn lives in Bristol where he teaches Positive Meditation and Mindfulness skills to the wonderful people that live in that great city. 

    This blog contains ideas and techniques for leading a happier, more peaceful life. These ideas come from Mark and also through others who share their positivity.  

    To receive blog updates via Facebook, Google Plus or Twitter please click the icons at the top of this page.

    Please feel free to add your comments. They are always helpful.

    Subscribe to our blog

    * indicates required

    Archives

    May 2018
    June 2017
    September 2016
    January 2016
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    July 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    July 2012
    April 2012

    Categories

    All
    Happiness
    Meditation
    Mindfulness
    Self Enquiry
    Self-enquiry
    Stress Management
    Wisdom

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.